Zacharias Sloan

This article may not be up to par with Eli Sloan's standards of decency.
This article may contain details that serve to defame, berate, or make fun of Eli Sloan. It might need to be refurbished.

This article is about the evil somethingrather of Eli J'uh Sloan. For his benevolent somethingrather, see Eli.

It has been suggested that this page or section be merged with Eli J'uh Sloan… But he doesn't like that idea for some reason.

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jaily ID No. ES-02B
Race Sloanian
Current Status on jaily Scapegoat
Current Status on Haaaaaaank! A Clear and Present Danger
First Mentioned in jaily Day 2?
First Visual Appearance Day 3?
Actual Debut on jaily Day 3?
First "Provable" Visual Appearance Hank's Day 18 Pt. 1
Beverage of Choice Arsenic

Zacharias Sloan a.k.a. "Evil Eli" is the evil somethingrather of Eli J'uh Sloan. On one of Jules Ismail's live BlogTV shows, Eli Sloan's evil "twin" revealed himself, conveniently absolving the other Eli Sloan of any past inappropriate behavior. On the BlogTV episode, it was revealed that the two twins had agreed to wear their hair parted in opposite directions in order for others to tell the difference between them. Unfortunately, due to their forgetful natures, neither of them remembers which way they agreed to, and just tend to wing it when doing their hair in the mornings. It is currently unknown what other physical traits, if any, might reveal which Eli is good and which one is evil, meaning that either one of them can behave inappropriately at any given time and successfully blame it on the other.
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Hank's rendering of what Evil Eli hopes to look like someday (featuring the soul patch that was meant to be a goatee, but was really a soul patch, and now Hank doesn't want to change it because he's a jerk)


Off-camera, one of the two Elis expressed that "Evil Eli" wished to one day have a goatee. Hank Moore, being the eager artist he is, then proceeded to render an image of this hypothetical future "Evil Eli". He found the image quite disturbing and, as such, felt it necessary to release it to the public. It was later commented that the picture did not actually feature a goatee so much as a soul patch.

Since the two have never actually been seen together, it is theoretically possible that the evil twin is just something Eli is making up or a byproduct of his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This theory has been pushed mostly by Jules, and disproven to some degree (though Jules will never accept it) by Hank on Day 18, when "Evil Eli" shoved him into the Empty Wardrobe in his own dorm room, teleporting him into Holo-Hell.

"Evil Eli" and Jules were actually in the same room (at least, according to Hank) on Day 28 of Haaaaaaank!, when Jules and Hank ventured to the Ellen Coolidge Library. Eli also made an appearance, repeatedly batting down any suggestion of "Evil Eli's" existence, which caused Hank, still tender after the events of Holo-Hell, to charge after "Evil Eli" on his own. This resulted in Hank getting shot with a seemingly [[Sloanian Weaponry |Alien Device]]]. Eli was soon to arrive on the scene, revealing "Evil Eli"'s name to actually be Zacharias and claiming that he could no longer deal with Zacharias on his own. Hank's fate was left ambiguous, though it appears he survived, because he's editing this article right now.

See Also

Jules Ismail
Eli

This article may not be up to par with jailypedia's standards of length (That's what she said).
Ouch! This article is a stub. Damn it. We really should see about getting that fixed.
This article is part of a series on George Mason University-related people and occurrences.
People: Edwin Romero - Eli Sloan - Eli's Evil Twin - Gio - Governor Ezekiel - Kathy - Melissa - Hank Moore / Places: Dorm Rooms - Ike's - Johnson Center - Southside / Other: GMU Episode
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