Hank Moore

This article bears the Hank Gold Star of Acceptance
gold%20star%20of%20acceptance.png

Let it be known that Hank hereby reluctantly accepts the excellence of this article and formally congratulates both the original writer and anyone involved in its continuing maintenance. Let it also be known that this is the highest award, in fact the only award, which can be bestowed upon an article by Hank, and thus should it be considered a great honor of glorious magnitude. Carry on.

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jaily ID No. HM-37
Race Human
Current Status on jaily Main Character
Current Status on Haaaaaaank! Central Character
First Mentioned in jaily Day 37
First Visual Appearance Day 45: Part 1
Actual Debut on jaily Day 45: Part 2
Beverage of Choice Dr. Pepper
Mountain Dew Typhoon (While Supplies Last)

Although when it comes down to it, there's really not much distinction between how much they fucking annoy Jules, depending on your perception of reality and the universe, you might consider this Hank a separate entity from ApFu Hank.

Hank Moore is a student at George Mason University who appears sporadically throughout jaily. His dorm room is down the hall from Eli's two floors above Eli's. He also created the new intro sequence for jaily (You know, the one with the ding). It is speculated that he is Camera Guy's arch nemesis, as he owns an HD Camcorder and a Flip and has stated his dislike for Camera Guy following the consumption of an Angry Chicken Sandwich. Hank occasionally sends clips to Jules Ismail, for implementation in jaily, that he films with his own camera. He believes he knows how to win the game. He also introduced to Jules the concept of reversing the polarity, which was probably a mistake. Quite possibly the least interesting person to claim a supporting role in jaily, Hank is the central figure in Haaaaaaank!. Hank is arguably the character who has changed the most over the course of the first year of jaily and Haaaaaaank!, evolving from his dull and boring beginnings as a background character to a prominent figure in both shows whose love/hate relationship with Jules has become the cause of many complications and sudden shifts in various days' events.

Mysterious Background

It is currently unknown exactly when Hank met Jules, but the timeframe has so far been narrowed down to between 2004 and 2005. Beyond that, Hank's backstory remains relatively mysterious, not because it is dark and shady, but instead because it is rather boring and wholly uninteresting. IT'S TOTALLY DARK AND SHADY!!!

Dislike of Camera Guy

Hank has begun to show a growing dislike of Camera Guy after eating an Angry Chicken Sandwich[1]. He is seen taunting Camera Guy by drinking a Cherry Coke in the GMU Episode "Elijah Sloan is Avoiding Me (Day 66)."[1] He also likes to remind Camera Guy that he owes Hank money (a habit shared by Jules), even when Camera Guy doesn't owe him money.

As a Grammar Nazi

While Jules began writing this article, Hank was looking over her shoulder correcting her grammar. He also spends hours on end pouring over the various pages of jailypedia for errors in spelling and grammar. Hank proudly considers himself a Grammar Nazi, and his level of irritation can be accurately measured by how horrible someone's grammar is. He has, over the years, grown to accept others' disabilities (or apathy) in the field of grammar but still requires no less than the best of himself. If you see a typo in something Hank has written or edited, he has probably already seen it himself and is likely already in the process of rectifying the situation.

Acne Trouble

Relatively self explanatory. In one episode or another he rambled about it, theoretically giving the issue some relevance.

Aversion to Swearing

Hank is the only main character on jaily never to have uttered a single profanity on the show. He is even seen whispering to replace a curse word in "Elijah Sloan is Avoiding Me (Day 66)." This is possibly because of his morals. On his own show, he did once shout "crap", but his life was, in fact, very much in danger, so he asks that you would let it slide.

Hank's Theory on Winning the Game

So what I wanna do is I wanna find the guy who started the game and kick them in the balls and that is how I can stop playing the game…

This theory, however, is logistically flawed. No explanation as to why is really necessary.[2]

Hank's Tendency to Give Jules Ideas That He Probably Shouldn't

As stated above, Hank has a tendency to give Jules ideas that he probably shouldn't, like when he introduced to Jules the concept of reversing the polarity or when he introduced to Jules the idea of correcting people who say "good night" when it's the early morning. Unfortunately for Hank, he only remembers the dangerous results that the ideas he gives Jules tend to have after he gives them to Jules.

Haaaaaaank!

At Jules' suggestion, Hank started his own channel on November 8th, 2009 [3]. This channel, called HankOccasionally, serves as the host for Hank's spin-off show, Haaaaaaank!. Much like Hank, the show's first few episodes were very boring despite the fact that it presents Jules in a very different light. On Day 7, however, Hank was pushed off the roof of the Sandy Creek Parking Deck at George Mason University. The perpetrator remained unknown, although eli later behaved very oddly during a conversation between Hank and himself [4]. The show has taken a generally more interesting turn, taking more advantage of the allowed selectivity of its schedule format (or lack thereof).

Suspicions of Extra-Terrestrialism

On Day 214, Jules shot Hank and was then sent to what she suspected to be his spaceship (her evidence being that, on said "spaceship", she found the pants he "stole" from her). She was then sent back to a toilet from which Hank had recently "teleported". After exiting the stall, Jules found Hank, completely unharmed and holding her clothes. Afterwards, she asked him about his "spaceship", a question which he refused to answer [5]. This was later resolved when Eli revealed that he was, in fact, the alien and that it was his spaceship [6]. Jules, as a result, apologized to Hank and jokingly offered to buy him lunch.

Incident of Sk'Wap Abuse

On Day 249, Hank behaved very oddly, showing many signs of drug abuse. It was discovered later that day that, having "lost" his meal card, he turned to Sk'Wap as a form of sustenance. It was also revealed that it had been given to him by Edwin Romero[7]. A week later, Hank still showed symptoms of withdrawal, including headaches and irritability[8].

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Fangirl(s)

Hank has at least one notable fangirl: Danaye. She believes herself to be his best friend. Hank seems to be okay with this so far. Jules, on the other hand, is not quite as amused with Hank stealing one of her fangirls, not to mention her main source of shoes[ Citation Needed ].

See Also

Jules Ismail
Camera Guy
Eli
The Game

Bibliography
1. Elijah Sloan is avoiding me. (200909.20: Day 66) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvOlwmc-qFg
2. Hank's theory on winning the game. (200909.21: Day 67) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ped2MjVQco
3. Day 1: It was worth it. (11|08|2009) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdyPVom0oOU
4. Day 7: The Haaaaaaank! Horror Picture Show (11|24|2009) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWzwbY0FwUA
5. Foursquare & Acid Waste (201002.14: Day 214) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut9a7BQTbkE
6. JAILY. - "Who's That Alien?" (Season 1, Episode 221) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI3ka4qkykY
7. paul on elm street (201003.21: Day 249) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nXlKwLhwz8
8. he's a spaceman (201003.28: Day 257) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4oMgFbTVgQ
This article is part of a series on virgins.
Eli Sloan - Ian Rogers - Hank Moore - New Years Guy
This article is part of a series on George Mason University-related people and occurrences.
People: Edwin Romero - Eli Sloan - Eli's Evil Twin - Gio - Governor Ezekiel - Kathy - Melissa - Hank Moore / Places: Dorm Rooms - Ike's - Johnson Center - Southside / Other: GMU Episode
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