Eli J'uh Sloan

This article may not be up to par with Eli Sloan's standards of decency.
This article may contain details that serve to defame, berate, or make fun of Eli Sloan. It might need to be refurbished.

This article is about the benevolent, albeit somewhat lazy, Eli J'uh Sloan. For his less benevolent, but just as lazy, somethingrather, see Zacharias Sloan.

jaily ID No. ES-02A
Race Sloanian
Current Status on jaily Main Character
Current Status on Haaaaaaank! Main Character
First Mentioned in jaily Day 2?
First Visual Appearance Day 3?
Actual Debut on jaily Day 3?
Beverage of Choice Fanta Orange

Eli J'uh Sloan, aka Eli Sloan, is an accommodating procrastinator. Oh yeah, also, he's an alien.

Pre-jaily relationship to Jules

Eli was introduced to Jules Ismail by Elvishmouse in 2007. Later, when he gained the ability to drive, he assumed the role of Jules' chauffeur.

Vanity Issues

Eli has known vanity issues. When left unattended with Jules' camera, he used it to fix his hair and adjust his mouth [1].

Eli's Mane

Prior to his arrival at George Mason University, Eli was the proud owner of a rather glorious head of hair. This mane has recently, however, been trimmed for reasons that Eli has not yet explained to jaily viewers, so we won't tell until he does.

Conceptual Terraforming

Eli believes that Pokemon would be an invaluable asset to terraforming planets [4].

From Space

Eli was recently revealed to be an alien [5], and responsible for the incidents Jules previously blamed on Hank. He appears to have crash landed on Earth in the summer of 1997, although the reason for the crash has not yet been explained. It is unknown if even Eli knows why the crash occurred.

Science Literally Light Years Beyond Ours

His alien technology appears to be responsible for fixing and causing many of the problems run into by Jules and friends. Also, he has a spaceship.

See Also

Jules Ismail
Eli's Scientific Words

Bibliography
1. Metro Drama! (200907.18: Day 3) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMnlHpBKius
2. TIGHT BRAS AT ANNANDALE H.S. (200907.28: Day 13: Part 1) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdmhTW24YO4
3. Into the Woods… (200907.28: Day 13: Part 2) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOuGSoItqVY
4. Hotwiring cars & getting "free" stuff (200908.07: Day 23) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssY-gH_6iv4
5. "Who's that Alien?" (201002.23: Day 221) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI3ka4qkykY
This article is part of a series on virgins.
Eli Sloan - Ian Rogers - Hank Moore - New Years Guy
This article is part of a series on George Mason University-related people and occurrences.
People: Edwin Romero - Eli Sloan - Eli's Evil Twin - Gio - Governor Ezekiel - Kathy - Melissa - Hank Moore / Places: Dorm Rooms - Ike's - Johnson Center - Southside / Other: GMU Episode
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